Advance Wars: WWII Crisis
by RokettmanX
Summary: Advance Wars with a humoristic twist. The whole Allied army in Europe during WWII gets sucked into War Worlds and just randomly decides to destory Orange Star. Special Apperance: Erwin Rommel.
1. The Beginning and the Madness

Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not Anti-American. For Christ- sake I was born in Ohio!  
  
Advance Wars: WWII Crisis  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Advance Wars or the 2nd, and I don't own Nintendo, blah blah blah...  
  
Chapter 1: INVASION of...  
  
~~~In the Future~~~ (Lets just leave it there!)  
  
Orange Star, a beautiful nation. Then all of sudden out of nowhere comes an evil army of no good villains from a country called "The Allies". Max, Andy, Sami, and Nell wake up to the sound of a Sherman Tank driving through their house, apartment...place wherever they stay.  
  
"Holy Fu..." Andy screamed as Max covered his mouth. "Don't say that to them. Its just probably that tank just turned the wrong way. What wrong with it..."  
  
And all of the sudden the tank fired at Max's collection of hard rock music, autographed, and hand-printed cds...yeah.  
  
"Why that little!!!!" Max screamed with a violent anger.  
  
"What kind of tank is that?" said Sami. "It looks so...weird"  
  
"Yeah, I guess it is the attacking enemy....THE ENEMY IS HERE!!!!" screamed Max. "Everyone to battle positions!"  
  
"Where is that?" asked Andy.  
  
"Down the hall, to the left, around the corner, and there will be a chair."  
  
"WHEEEE!" and so Andy ran off.  
  
"What a stupid dork" Sami laughed.  
  
"Why is he a CO again?"  
  
"Homeless, mentally insane, mentally unstable, threatened me with a gun, and..." Nell said.  
  
"Yeah I get the point."  
  
(In the distant background...)  
  
"Weeeeeee! This is fun! How'd we get here anyway. Where's them Nazi's! I want to kill em!! This is gonna be fun!"  
  
"Hold your pants, Patton! We'll be killing in awhile. And first we don't want to be killin Nazi's. We want to kill these innocent people that threaten us! And plus German generals are our friends. Right Rommel?"  
  
"Yesh! We kill sem! German general be nice to nice USA and thy Britain" said Erwin Rommel in his illiterate English.  
  
"Montgomery your always right. Except for Market Garden! HAHAHAH!" yelled Patton.  
  
"Ohhh Shut up!" squealed Montgomery. "It would of work, if we wasn't using them stupid US infantry!"  
  
"If yud were smart, yud find out that thy British infauntry was thy mistake" said Rommel.  
  
"Oh you little German bastard!"  
  
"Tehehehe!" laughed Rommel.  
  
A random Orange star civilian comes up to Rommel and says, "Vo sind die toiletten?" (Where are the toilets?)  
  
Patton takes out a pistol and shoots the dude in the head. "You're dead. You don't need a freakin toilet!" A very long pause. "Ohhh yes! Advance all units. Isn't that the name of the game? 'Advance Wars."  
  
They all sigh.  
  
Next chapter... CHAPTER 2: ...And so they attacked...With the Desert FOX!  
  
~~And until next time! So long, hope you shitted in your pants because you thought this was funny. Because it was stupid. Except for...THE DESERT FOX or (THE Illiterate DESERT FOX) Bye guys. Please Review; I would like some...constructive criticism. Whatever that means. 


	2. And they attacked with the DESERT FOX!

Chapter 2: ...And so they attacked...With the DESERT FOX!  
  
Orange Star has gone chaotic. With the two enemies locked head on at each other, what will they do?  
  
(At the Orange Star HQ)  
  
"Ok Andy. Can you hold up the defenses?" asked Nell.  
  
"Yup, Yes sir I can!" (SLAP!) "Owww."  
  
(At the Allied HQ)  
  
"Ok guys, what are we going to do?" asked Patton.  
  
"Ohhh, How bout we load up into planes and paratroop men onto several cities, and try to get to Berlin without the bridges to far!" said Montgomery.  
  
"We neud no MARKET GARDEN! It wazz de stupidest plaun I've evr seen!" replied Rommel.  
  
"I think it was brilliant. A Bridge Too Far, it was a good movie!" replied Sean Connery.  
  
Patton takes out a gun, and shoots him in the head. "Stupid British!"  
  
(Gasp!) "You killed James Bond. 007. The British spy! How dare you!" yelled Montgomery.  
  
"Pierce Brosman is better anyway."  
  
"Why you little!"  
  
As they fought and fought, Rommel finally got annoyed at watching two "siszy girls" fight. "While you'se two bikkering, I will major an offensive! Suo long!" And he left. Sped off and gather all his troops, and advance toward Orange Star's HQ.  
  
A BF-109 flew down and shot men off the ground and flew away.  
  
"You can't do that. You can move and attack but you can keep moving!" yelled Andy.  
  
"Ohh go cry to your mommy!" said the pilot, as he was calling in for bombers to bomb Andy.  
  
"Hey, for your information, my mom is dead. And as for you..." said Andy cut off as he saw a bomb coming toward him. "Holy Fu..." as he flew up in the air and landed on the top of his HQ, impaled by the lighting rod.  
  
"Audvance! Audvance! Let's go! Let's go! Audvance!" Rommel singing.  
  
News comes to him that the Orange Star CO has been killed, in the most weird way. He jumps for joy and easily takes the HQ of his enemy.  
  
"You sock! I rock! You sock! I rock!" Rommel singing again. Ok, I'm gonna kill you off If you keep on singing.  
  
"Esh! Don't kill pour German! Please!"  
  
(Back at the Orange Star MAIN HQ)  
  
"Ok, that was stupidest mistake sending Andy to defend" Nell said.  
  
"Nell, you have gotten stupider" said Sami.  
  
"I'm smart...really."  
  
"Ok, if your so smart, you go into battle next" replied Max.  
  
"Fine. And if I win, you all owe me 1,000 GC."  
  
"That's easy money" Sami replied.  
  
"Ok, 10,000,000."  
  
"Whoa there, do you have 20,000,000 GC on you?" Sami asked.  
  
"Yeah, I can always take it out of Orange Star's depository."  
  
"Yeah, you got a point."  
  
(Back at the Allies NEW HQ = Orange Star's Old HQ)  
  
"Well guys, thanks to the help of Rommel, we've captured more territory in this place" Montgomery announced.  
  
"But they still here! Lets keep on killing them! Its so much fun!" yelled Patton.  
  
"Ok, since you are so piped up you can go out and destroy them."  
  
"YES! I will destroy there forces!"  
  
"Indeed, ya" Rommel.  
  
Next chapter ... CHAPTER 3: The Man Whose Been To Sicily  
  
~ Bare with me here through this stupid chapter. I would still like some constructive criticism. I'm not like one of those idiots who are like, "I want reviews in order to write more" That's a bunch of bullshit. So please review, if you do or not. IM STILL GONNA WRITE! ~ 


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